Consider this your “warning” against the “horrible, terrible, very bad, no good orange man,” should he prove the victor in November…
Ah, the delightful musings of what a ‘dictatorial’ Trump presidency might look like. It’s time to don (pun) our tin foil hats and dive into the rabbit hole of hypotheticals. After all, if speculation were an Olympic sport, this would be the decathlon.
1) The Dossier Drama Redux Picture this: Trump, the cloak-and-dagger aficionado, secretly hires a former spy to concoct an anti-Biden dossier, using Russian whispers. The plot thickens as he slyly conceals his payments behind a triple-layered financial fortress. Media outlets feast on this faux narrative, painting Biden as a ‘Putin Poodle.’
2) The FBI’s MAGA Makeover Would President Trump transform the FBI into his personal MAGA militia? Imagine the FBI joining hands with X and Facebook to bury stories unfavorable to the MAGA kingdom. Altering FISA warrants? Blacklisting left-leaning newspapers? All in a day’s work for Trump’s vendetta-fueled FBI.
3) The CIA’s Right-Wing Cameo Trump’s Secretary of State could rally 51 right-wing ex-CIA agents to falsely testify that the Russians concocted the Stormy Daniels saga. Because, why not?
4) The IRS as Family Shield Imagine the DOJ, under Trump’s watchful eye, dismissing any tax fraud allegations against his sons. The IRS, once a feared institution, now a protective umbrella for the Trump dynasty.
5) The Debt Cancellation Decree Would dictator Trump wave his magic wand to erase student debt right before midterms? Or exploit the strategic petroleum reserve for a quick political win? Nothing’s off the table in Trump’s America.
6) The Biden Family Witch Hunt Envision a special counsel appointed to scrutinize the Bidens, coordinating with local GOP prosecutors for a barrage of indictments. The FBI might even pay a visit to Biden’s residence, hunting for classified relics from his past political life.
7) The 2020 Insurrection Revision In a Trumpian twist, the 2020 riots transform into an armed insurrection. Trump, with a flick of his pen, could start prosecuting the 14,000 arrested for everything from jaywalking to conspiracy.
8) The Age of Silence Trump, at a sprightly 78, may choose to remain tight-lipped about his health. Because in Trump’s America, age is just a number, and health inquiries are for the weak.
9) The Military Purge Trump’s minions could start purging the military of ‘left-wing rage,’ labeling Antifa and BLM activists as domestic terrorists. Soldiers refusing his precious Warp Speed boosters? Discharged!
10) The Sanctuary City Shield Perhaps Trump would protect 500 conservative ‘sanctuary cities’ that conveniently ignore federal laws not aligning with his agenda.
11) The Border Bonanza Would Trump open the southern border, welcoming millions of conservative-leaning immigrants? It’s like a GOP voter registration drive, but with more tacos.
12) The Ballot Blackout Red states might just start erasing Democratic candidates from ballots. After all, why bother with competition?
13) The Subpoena Showdown Ex-Biden officials who snub GOP subpoenas could find themselves enjoying extended stays in federal accommodations (read: prison).
14) The Taliban Arms Deal Imagine Trump’s America arming the Taliban to the teeth. Because who doesn’t like a bit of geopolitical irony?
15) The Crime Wave Cultivation Conservative prosecutors might unleash a crime wave, releasing felons and turning a blind eye to theft. Law and order, but with a catch-and-release twist.
16) The Foreign Shakedown Dictator Trump, the international businessman, might strong-arm foreign governments to line the Trump family’s pockets.
17) The Part-Time Presidency Trump could transform Mar-a-Lago into a presidential retreat, making the presidency a part-time gig between rounds of golf.
Conclusion
So, what would a ‘dictator’ Trump do that the ‘civil libertarian’ Joe Biden hasn’t already dabbled in? It’s a tantalizing thought experiment, rich with irony and satire. But let’s remember, in the theater of politics, the line between fiction and reality is often blurred.
